Mada Mada Dane, TezukaBuchou
by Tamala Miran
Summary: Crack. There is no tennis, there is no seriousness, there is no coherency. Though there is a bit of yaoi.


-1**DISCLAIMER: I am in no way, shape, or form claiming that this is well written. In fact, I wholeheartedly accept that this is a shitty result of my brain-dead state. Mariah and I were possibly high/on crack/temporarily insane when we came up with this idea, and I wisely decided to put it down on paper when I was running on three hours of sleep. Feel free to point and laugh at the author, however, I cannot be held responsible for any brain damage that takes place as a result of reading this crack!fic. You have been warned.**

Mada Mada Dane, Tezuka-Buchou

The young man adjusted the pillow that were strewn messily around him, propping one up beneath his neck, and straightened the tangle of blankets to rest comfortably on his bare legs. He frowned, they were damp with sweat and… other bodily fluids, and they stuck to his legs, which were also moist with perspiration. When he was as comfortable as he was going to get, he pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose and looked over to his younger lover, white cap pulled over his eyes.

The young boy really did look beautiful lying there, the midday sun washing over his well-toned-- Tezuka heard a soft 'pop' and looked down to see Ryoma lifting a can of grape Ponta to his lips. Tezuka wasn't sure why Ryoma always drank the same juice, or why he was drinking it almost immediately after sex. And for that matter, he wasn't even sure where Ryoma had gotten the drink, seeing as how neither of them had left the bed. He also didn't know why the boy insisted on wearing his trademark white hat in bed, but Tezuka wasn't going to question such trivial things. Really, matters like that weren't important when the love-making had been so fantastic. He admired the young tennis prodigy once more; the boy wasn't just talented on the courts, he was really good in bed. Tezuka began to wonder when and where he had learned things like that the tender age of twelve, but he stopped himself before his mind came up with any more questions.

"That was… nice, Echizen," the captain said, reaching over slowly to rest his hand on Ryoma's leg.

"Che," was Ryoma's only replied as he pulled his hat further over his eyes.

Tezuka's hand froze mid-air, and he brought it back to lay at his side. "…Echizen?" His voice seemed somewhat hesitant, though it was hard to tell, seeing as he was using his usual monotone expression.

The younger boy smirked. "Mada mada dane, Tezuka-buchou."

The taller boy stiffened, turning his gaze to look forward. He fought the urge to say anything, and instead cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses once more. Ryoma thought he saw his captain blushing, though he could have been wrong. Tezuka pulled the sheets off of himself and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He quickly picked up his clothes from their various resting places around the room and dressed himself. He was careful not to look back at the black-haired boy, leaving once he was properly attired.

When the door had shut with a resounding 'click', a head popped out from under the bed.

"Man, could you two have been more rough?" he demanded, rubbing the top of his head, "I'm lucky I didn't get crushed or something."

"Sorry that took so long, Momo-senpai," Ryoma said, though he didn't really sound apologetic.

"Nah, it's fine. It had to be done eventually. Tezuka-buchou's been ogling you ever since you came to Seigaku," the second year replied, climbing out from his hiding place, "Besides, I had fun listening. I never though Buchou would moan and scream like _that_. 'Become the pillar, become the pillar!' Jeez, I really thought he'd be quiet in bed like he is the rest of the time. And you know, since I couldn't see, could you explain to me exactly _how_ he was using Tezuka Zone?"

Ryoma smirked and finished the rest of his Ponta as Momo climbed into bed, not bothering to five and answer. He'd let Mom use his imagination on that one.

The older boy sighed contentedly and scratched his bare stomach as Ryoma pulled out another Ponta from wherever it was that he got them.

"Wanna go out for some burgers?" Momo asked.

"Sure, Momo-senpai," the other boy responded.

When the two had left, a mumbled 'Ii data' could be heard coming from the closet. Fuji looked over to Inui through perpetually closed eyes, whose glasses glinted as he scribbled away in his notebook. Fuji rose from where he hand been secretly squatting with India and turned off his video camera. Fuji's smile grew and the two of them walked out of the room.

Eiji and Oishi sat close together on the Kikumarus' couch, the latter reading a book, and the former chatting to the latter as he read. Oishi smiled and wrapped his arm around the redhead's shoulders, Eiji turning the page of his book for him. They sat like this for a few more minutes, Eiji's head resting on the taller boys shoulder. They both looked up when there was a knock on the door.

"Nya, I wonder who that could be," Eiji mused excitedly as he bounded to the front entrance, Oishi following close behind. The red-headed teen opened the door to reveal Fuji, who was smiling as always, and Inui, who was mumbling off percentages about what the Golden Pair might have been doing before their arrival. "Fuji, Inui! Nya, what are you guys doing here?"

"We have a video that I thought you might be interested in seeing," the tensai replied, patting the bag that was slung over his shoulder.

"Nya, really? What is it?" Eiji asked energetically, throwing his arms around his doubles partner's shoulder and hanging there.

Fuji just smiled and tilted his head to the side slightly. "You'll see," he said. Oishi gave Eiji a wary look, wrapping his arm around the shorter boy's waist. "Eiji, do you mind if I use your phone to make a couple of calls?"

"Hoi, hoi, Fuji!" the bouncy youth answered, and the four teens disappeared into the house.

Later that day at the Kawamura Sushi restaurant, six member of the Seigaku tennis team sat around a table, chatting together as they waited to see the video that had spurred the gathering. Taka was busy setting down platters of sushi in front of his friends, but he stopped momentarily and turned to the ringleader of the pseudo-party. "Um… Fuji, could you explain what this is all about again…?" he asked rather sheepishly.

"He wouldn't tell us! Come on, Fuji, I can't wait any longer!" Eiji said, pouting as he draped himself over Oishi.

"Yeah, would you mind telling us what this video is?" Oishi asked.

"Fshuu," Kaidoh added eloquently.

Fuji nodded and no one in particular, getting up to put the video tape in the conveniently placed VCR and turning on the equally conveniently placed television. There were many conveniently placed odds and ends in the Kawamura Sushi restaurant, such as the conveniently placed adjacent room conveniently equipped with a bed that served as a love den when things got a little hot and heavy during a post-victory celebration. Of course, Taka's father and Ryuuzaki conveniently never noticed what was going on in said room. Fuji sauntered back to his seat, hips swaying with each step, and smiled contentedly as the video began.

All eyes were on the screen as the video started, and for a while, the room went silent, that is, except for the sexual noises that were coming from the television.

Eiji was the one to break the silence. "Nya, what is Tezuka-buchou _doing_…? And, Oishi, look how flexible Ochibi is!"

Meanwhile, Oishi's eyes were wide and he was blushing fiercely, as were Taka and Kaidoh. Inui was once again scribbling in his notebook, jotting down the details he had failed to note the first time.

"Fshuu," Kaidoh commented as he looked away.

"…What did Buchou just say?" Eiji asked, leaning closer to the screen, "Nya, why is he glowing?!"

"Um… Fuji, maybe we should--" Taka began, but was cut off when he heard someone entering the restaurant, which clearly had a 'Closed' sign hanging on the door. They all turned to see who it was.

Tezuka stood in the entrance, blushing, his eyebrow twitching. "One hundred laps. All of you. _Now_!" he managed to order.

But somehow, the various members of the tennis club who sat before him found it harder to take their captain seriously when they had just heard him moaning uncontrollably at the mercy of a twelve year old. But still, they didn't want to make matters worse, so they all got up and headed outside.

"Nya, you'd figure even Tezuka-buchou would lighten up after just getting laid…" Eiji commented as they began their laps around the block.

Oishi shrugged, jogging beside him. "Who knows," he said, "Maybe Echizen is bad in bed."


End file.
